As temperatures finally begin to moderate here in the Northeast it becomes clear that the seasons are changing. Our relationship to change is a complex one. In depth of winter it was easy to fall into the belief that the cold and discomfort would go on forever. This leads to a feeling of helplessness and depression as we embrace what Daniel Gilbert termed the "death of History." By this Gilbert refers to the idea that we forget the world around us is always changing. When we are sad (or anxious or any other unpleasant experience) it seems that this is all there will ever be even though history (experience) tells us that this moment too shall pass.
Change is hard for us because it poses a challenge to our equilibrium. We are forced to adapt to change and this can cause stress and discomfort. Resilience is all about being able to adapt to changing circumstances and in fact there is really no escaping change.
People often hold on to ways of being that are rigid and not adaptive because they are familiar. By doing what we have always done we avoid the discomfort of change but we also deny ourselves the opportunity for growth offered by changing our habits.
In therapy I help patients become more comfortable with all of their feelings, including discomfort, so that they can choose to try out new ways of being. This can be hard but rewarding work.
So as Winter gives way to Spring embrace the inevitability of change and accept that all things are transient.
